He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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