i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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