So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize