Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
