I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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