D3 body, D1 cock
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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