I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
