; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
