You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
