Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
