The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
