it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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