Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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