Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
