The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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