too bad you live with your parents still
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
