the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
