We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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