did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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