CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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