chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
