Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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