he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
