I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
