suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
