North Korea, Best Korea!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I need moral support for this bender
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
