i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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