Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
