I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
