Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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