Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
