So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
