brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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