My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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