how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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