There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
