Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
