you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
