Soap is not a condiment
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
