i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
