Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
