Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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