i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize