we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
