You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize