Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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