u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
