she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
