I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize