??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
