Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
