were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
