I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
