Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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