I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Farmville is her only friend.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize