Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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