Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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