I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
