Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
