I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
