my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
NoShamevember. You game?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
