Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
