If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
