I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
