I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
