My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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