she woke up with a sticky ear
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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