She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
