Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
