we made out on top of his cat.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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