sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
