I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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