One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
