Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He passed out mid-signature
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
