8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
