just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize