how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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